A new understanding...

I have come to see that depite my trials and tribulations that there always the same people by my side. I think it's God showing me who truly cares for me and that he put them in my life for a reason. I agree with Momma J that we met for a reason and that God has a purpose for the two of us. What I don't know. But it is good to know that she wants to walk that journey with me. I still don't know what I can offer her that she doesn't already have. She seems to have everything that she needs, so why am I in the picture? I just get more and more amazed at what God does for me no matter how much I stray or fall short of his glory. I can't seem to see what God sees in me. I see imperfection, but he sees a precious child. And his love is unwavering no matter what! What an awesome God!
1 Chronciles says "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!His faithful love endures forever."
FOREVER! That is so awesome that no matter what God will always love me, he created me. He didn't have to but he did. And I need to stop and think about that once in awhile. I am so wanting to go back to what I was before....before things changed....before my world crashed down around me. But.....maybe.......just maybe it has made me a better person. I have seem to come through everything wih just the scars and pain to show for it. It has made me stronger. Maybe thats the difference in me, I am somewhat stronger than I once was. I know that God doesn't make mistakes so everything happened because it had to be that way. It's the same with Momma J. I think she is here to keep me from doing something stupid, to keep me from an early grave. Whether that be my ED, or suicide. I know I need to focus on the good things and not the bad, but sometimes it can be hard...is that making sense? Or is it just another rant?
To end this I want to leave you with a scripture that I found awhile back that comforts me:
Passage John 14:18:
"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you". He has been wrapping his arm around me and protecting me the best he can. And for that I am grateful!